And so it began... PT2

The day after I was in the ER I called the neurologist I was recommended to see. I left a message, then waited: I never heard back. I called again, left a message, then waited. Rinse wash repeat. I called a few more times until one day a familiar voice met me on the other line telling me, "this number is no longer in service... " I called the hospital then to find out what was going on and was informed that Dr. NoLongerInService works out of Texas and was only temping here for a few days. I took finding a neurologist into my own hands at that point. I approached this task like I had options. I researched the doctors in Cheyenne, asked others who they liked, and made a fairly educated decision who I wanted my doctor to be. I called to schedule an appointment immediately, unfortunately the not so nice receptionist declared I wouldn't find a neuro in this town that would see me without insurance. After being turned down by a handful of others for the same reason I began to feel helpless. I had to get a neurologist to pick me, I didn't get to pick them. The only thing we could think to do during this time was go see my general practitioner. (gp)

During all the time I wasted playing phone tag and losing hope I was researching everything I could about MS and Lyme disease. during my research I had read that many people with MS are heat intolerant and should not take too hot of showers, spend too much time in the sun, or sit in hot tubs. Well it was a few days after I was in the ER and feeling a little blue. Normally I would go take a nice long soak in the hot tub. Now i knew the risk, but I did not have MS. so I enjoyed a very relaxing evening with Mr. Wonderful in the hot tub. The next day I had the worst day I have had with symptoms. I woke up and was unable to get myself out of bed I was very weak and felt like i was burning up. very similar to the flu but like a flu I never experienced before.I don't remember much about that day, I was incoherent for most of it, I just remember being carried to the bath by Mr. Wonderful and was stuck in a cold bath, I wasn't even able to hold myself up, I had to be propped up in the tub by sitting width wise instead of length wise and had to be held so i didn't topple to the side. I slept for most of the day.

*side note: Before MRI Technology one way doctors tested for MS was to record the patients strength, stick them in a hot tub for 20 minutes, then test the patients strength again. If MS was the cause the patients strength would have declined dramatically*

After my hot tube extravaganza and lots more research I began to realize I probably did have MS. As my family and I processed this possibility I got the opportunity to watch others reactions. My mom kept hugging me and looking at me like I was dying. My brother hadn't called me a nasty name in a few weeks. My dad reacted just as I expected him to by not reacting at all, My sister did exactly what I didn't expect her to do, and wasn't really helpful at all. My grandma felt she was being punished cause I was sick. And I began to hate God.

My mom taught me not to put all my eggs all in one basket. So why should I trust all my eggs to my "savior" if he just broke them. The longer it took to find answers the worse my health got, the more I blamed God. I know I was being irrational, but being able to pin the blame on someone or something seemed to help since I couldn't get any answers. I also went through a bout of depression where i decided to quite school since I'll never be able to be a teacher anyway, I had to sell my car since I;ll never be ab;e to drive again, and I had to dump Mr. Wonderful because this was unfair to him. I even planned my break up speech. Thankfully I never did any of those things, especially break up with my honey.

I never quite recovered from the hot tub attempt. Walking was getting harder and harder, my coordination was on vacation, and i began to experience all sorts of new symptoms. I was getting regular burning sensations in my legs, and going to the bathroom was becoming an event all in itself. many people in town began to find out something was wrong and i received several texts from people who heard rumors that I was in a wheelchair from a car wreck.

We finally got in with my gp who had my ER records sent over. She was able to explain in stupid people terms about the white spots and their locations. She had a friend who was a new neuro in town trying to build her clientele so my gp gave her a call and before I knew it I was scheduled to see Dr. K. My first appointment with Dr. K. was not quite what I had hoped for. I was sitting on the itchy paper covered bed when the doctor came in. She barely got out an introduction before she started poking and prodding, literally. I was being poked with what seemed like an over sized push pin, hit with a rubber hammer, constantly being asked, "can you feel that now?" I felt like i was in a cruel cell phone commercial "Can you hear my now?" At the end of the exam, due to her ethnicity my mother or I could hardly understand a thing she said with her accent. We both walked out confused, again.

The next week I was let go at work temporarily until i could figure out what was going on. I think it's cause i was so unstable I was a liability. I could barely walk. I was forced to use the electronic carts or a wheel chair whenever i went anywhere. Many people in town began to find out something was wrong and i received several texts from others who heard rumors that I was in a wheelchair from a car wreck. I was also forced to use a shower chair since i was unable to stand for any length of time. Over the next few weeks I had another MRI, a ton more blood work, and a spinal tap. (my life was based off a hurry up and wait philosophy) When I saw Dr. K. to get my test results. she was much more personable. In fact she was a very pretty woman once she smiled. I'm not sure if she was just having a bad day during my previous appointment, or if she felt  uncomfortable being forced to tell me I had MS. That was the day I was officially diagnosed. almost a month after my initial ER visit. A month that felt like an eternity. This is where my blog began.

By the end of all my tests i have found that I have lesions (white spots) all the way down my spine which is not a good sign, however my doctor is still unable to determine what type of MS i have. Only time will tell. (I will explain the different variations of MS in a future post.) We have also picked a drug treatment which I will be starting later this week.