and again, things change

I am so tired of the inconsistency in my life, between changing medications, working 2 jobs, school and handling life I cant handle any more, and yet i find out my doctor is no longer in practice today with know warning. i got turned down by every doctor in this town when i was first diagnosed for lack of insurance and this Dr is the only one who would see me. I didn't always like her  and sometimes i wanted to change doctors as soon as that was an option but over time i started to respect her and feel she truly cared about me and my health. Now I am forced to try finding another practice or picking a new DR in the office she was in. Just pick a new doctor... this is completely easier said then done and so many factors go into this decision. It is a BIG choice!!!! so what i just pick? The office won't tell me where she went or why she is gone. Was it a personal choice or something else? they said they don't know IF or WHERE she will be practicing and can't talk about it legally. i don't know what that means...

So what now? i just pick a doctor... eeny meeny miny moe right. it's that simple to pick the person who will be in charge of my health and life: present and future. Due to not having insurance my options are limited.  once again I am left feeling insecure, vulnerable, lost, and confused.

Bike MS

I know it has been awhile since my last post. I have been very busy and dealing with a few challenges since then. I have started a new job at the National MS Society (I am still working as a Floral Designer too), moved into a house with Mr. Wonderful, had a few fight’s with my doctor (I will explain another post, another time) and started school.

Working at the NMSS has been wonderful! I just adore my boss and I get the opportunity to learn things that also benefit me personally and help others. This last weekend we trekked 5 hours to South Dakota to work at the Bike MS Fundraiser. Participants rode 150 miles on their bicycles to raise funds and awareness for MS. While working at this event, I met so many amazing people. Eight riders even had MS, and one rider was blind. Hearing all the positive stories encouraged me so much. I felt privileged to be a part of this group and was inspired to keep moving forward and not let MS ever hold me back!

 I worked with a great crew that made me feel like part of the team from the get go and definitely considered my limitations without making me feel bad. I definitely left this weekend with a few new friends!

I worked my ass off through the weekend and had the greatest time doing it. Mr. Wonderful even came along and helped too. Many people were very impressed with not only his hard work but also the way he is there for me. I am very fortunate to have such a great man in my life. I am very thankful for him.

The day we got home, I had to start school. I have never been concerned with telling people I have MS but as I drove to school, I started to panic, what if the teacher asks for introductions. Should I share? Should I not? I realized I never was scared to share before because I was sharing with people Io already knew and trusted Pre MS. These people are new…. I was very insecure about sharing my MS with strangers. The problem never arose since we were not asked to make introductions, but I am sure eventually I will start to meet new people in class, and I suppose as that begins to happen I will begin to share about my life.